by Jesus Barrena 
We are going to deal with the emotional management of children at the time of the parents' divorce.
Coexistence problems in divorced families with children are a situation that has always occurred. Now more is known about how to help get through this stage of life in the best possible way.
Both from the point of view of the parents who divorce, as well as of the children, it is a change in their lives that logically affects them in one way or another. They are vital experiences that must be managed.
Contents
Some of the concerns and major frictions in separated and divorced families
- My partner's son bothers me. When after a divorce or separation a new couple is formed but there are children in common by one or both members of said couple, there may be frictions in the coexistence that must be corrected and overcome by dedicating time and effort, since for the children in Sometimes the situation is not easy either.
- I don't want to talk to the father of my children. Sometimes the problem stems from quarrels between the parents of some children who sometimes take advantage of the relationship that is necessary between both parents, to annoy and create a situation of uneasiness in the other parent, which must be tried to overcome with moderation and family mediation.
- I have doubts about going to consult divorce lawyers because I don't know if I can afford it. It will always be convenient to go to a trusted lawyer because the problem that we may feel we have can be aggravated by the mere fact of inadequately managing the legal or family relationship derived from a lack of advice.
- How to get my husband out of the house legally. On occasions, among the family interests, one that stands out is the right to use the house, so that everything can be discussed and agreed as long as it is in favor of the law, but always within the Law without taking justice into the hand and create stressful and unpleasant situations.
How divorce can affect children depending on their age:
How does a divorce affect a baby?
Babies are very receptive to mom and dad's mood so if we are tense, irritable or depressed they will notice it and it will affect them in the same way. The fact that adults are stressed can mean that the baby's needs for stimulation and care are not properly met, which can affect its proper development.
How Divorce Affects Preschoolers
They are hardly able to understand what is happening, and if the breakup is being complicated, they may express stress, anxiety and fear. How do they react? Returning to previous stages of development already overcome (wetting the bed again, more childlike speech, refusal of some foods, etc.), sleeping poorly and having nightmares, fear of the dark or being alone at home… He is not in control of their emotions we may find somatizations, physical expressions of discomfort, such as vomiting, abdominal pain... In specific cases we may detect that the child is especially aggressive, it is the way in which children manage depression and externalize it , not sadly as in the case of an adult.
How Divorce Affects Pre-Teen Children
Children can live at the moment of separation as a conflict of loyalties, does going with mom mean that I don't love dad? and that this affects both their mood and school performance. It may be the case that their self-esteem is affected and they begin to show behavioral problems, especially in the case of boys (not following the rules, behaviors that are not correct, etc.)
How a divorce affects children in adolescence:
Teenagers, at this stage of their lives, are very sensitive to conflictive separations. We can find ourselves with depression, behavioral problems (criminal, unhealthy habits), difficulties establishing affective bonds (or having close and trusting relationships both now and in the medium-long term), etc.
These are all issues that with the support of a professional will always be handled in the best way for both children and parents.
